You Have Me
by sighnomorelady
Summary: Caroline Forbes realizes her true feelings for Stefan Salvatore.
1. Chapter 1

I was drowning my sorrows in liquor. My best friend got to kill the guy I was crushing on, but did anyone get on to her? No. Elena, perfect Elena got away with everything. Why was I even surprised?

"Caroline, talk to me."

"No, Stefan. I don't want to talk about this! I don't. Not right now. Okay?"

Stefan grabbed the liquor bottle out of my hand and gave me one of those looks he usually gave me when he was trying to get his way, but I wasn't budging. Not now. I wanted to drink; I wanted to release my pain in something. Anything.

"Give me the bottle, Stefan."

"No." He said his words with assertiveness trying to make his point clear.

"Why is it that Elena gets to make all of her own choices but the second that I want any type of control you freak out?"

Stefan frowned at me not seeming happy with my comparison, but it seemed to shut him up pretty quick.

"So, why don't you leave me alone and go whine about how Elena is with Damon to someone else? Okay? Your sober coach has currently taken the day off." My words were cruel and straight to the point.

"This isn't you Caroline. You aren't that shallow. You don't need to be here drowning your sorrows in liquor over some boy you just met."

"I am shallow. Okay? Why? Because I am focusing on me? I focus on me and no one else. Because if I don't who will? I don't know how to be deep like you. I have never been like you, and you hold me on this pedestal. You act like I am some little girl you need to protect. Well stop it! Stop saving me. I don't need you to protect me. I am _not _girly little Caroline anymore." I was furious at him by this point. I could have slapped him across the face. I could have slapped him and I probably would not have felt any guilt either. He deserved it.

"Don't. Don't say stuff like that because it isn't true. You aren't shallow. And, so what? So what if I hold you to higher standards than those other girls? I care about you." Stefan said this with such sincerity but he wasn't telling me any news. I knew he cared about me. He had been there for me when everyone else had left me, so I knew he cared. But, that wasn't enough.

"Care about me? You care about me?"

He seemed so confused by my sarcastic tone.

"Well, I love you! I love you! I have loved you every single day since I met you! But you are so focused on your lying, manipulating ex-girlfriend that you don't see me! You have never seen me, Stefan!"

Stefan stood there in awe as if I had just blind-sided him with the truth, but I thought he already knew. He had to know. Everyone knew.

"You are drunk. Come on. I will get you home and you can sleep it off." Stefan gently grabbed my arm and started to pull me towards the door of the bar but I was not going to have it. I put my foot down so that if he wanted to make me leave he was going to have to drag me out and make a scene.

"No! I am not going!"

Stefan leaned down and picked me up throwing me casually over his shoulder not seeming to care what anyone said. I kicked him; hit my fists against his back, hoping he would put me down. I even tried screaming but Stefan did not sit me down until we were next to his car.

"I hate you."

Stefan laughed softly at my words.

"Well, right now I don't like you very much either right now."

I looked at him with slightly narrowed eyes feeling betrayed by his words and I turned away from him, my eyes filling with tears now. The liquor really was toying with my emotions by this point.

Instead of laughing at me this time he stepped forward and turned me around gently pulling me in to his arms, wrapping them instinctively around me just like he always did when I needed a little extra support.

"Caroline…"

I leaned forward and captured his face in my hand gently stroking his jaw line with my thumb for a moment, looking in to his forest green eyes. I knew I loved him. I had always loved him but now I wanted to act on it, so I leaned up trying to kiss him but he tried to pull away from me. Slightly annoyed by this I pushed my body in to his capturing his lips in a kiss. Stefan pulled away quickly and it was over so suddenly that I felt like I had whiplash. But my lips were tingling with an odd sensation I had never felt before. A new, exotic kind of tingling that made me want to kiss Stefan again and again. But maybe that was just the alcohol. I was a little tipsy after all.

Stefan stood there for a moment, his hands plastered on his hips and his lips pressed together just like they always did when he was deep in thought.

"Stefan, Stefan I am so sorry. I shouldn't have-"

Stefan's lips pressing against my own again interrupted me, and my arms instantly wrapped around his neck, partially because it felt so naturally, but I also felt as if I might fall over from the intensity of this kiss. Did Stefan kiss everyone like this? God, this is the way a girl should be kissed. I felt sorry for the girls who had never been kissed with this type of intensity. Those girls didn't know what it felt like to be kissed by someone who you loved. Someone who made you feel safe, someone they knew would always protect them. But I knew Stefan was always going to protect me. Stefan was always going to be here, and this was the way I wanted him. I wanted him right here, kissing me for as long as time would allow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

The beautiful thing about waking up after a night of rough drinking is that you don't remember anything you did the night before. You can only remember bits and pieces of what you did. That part wasn't a good thing for me. I clearly remember kissing my best friend. I kissed my best friend who also happened to be my other best friend's ex-boyfriend.

Oh God.

I kissed Stefan last night.

Oh God.

I told Stefan that I was in love with him.

Stefan, wait, where on Earth was Stefan? I slowly sat up and looked around my bedroom, no Stefan. I got out of my bed, my head pounding, a side effect of my night of drinking. I decided in that moment that I probably shouldn't drink anymore. I did stupid things when I got drunk.

I told Stefan I was in love with him.

Was I in love with Stefan?

I loved Stefan. I had always loved Stefan. Stefan had been my best friend since he saved me from Damon on the night that I turned. Stefan had been my friend when I was so confused. I didn't know who I was anymore, but Stefan always knew who I was. Stefan knew who I was even when I didn't.

Is that what love is?

Is it love when someone knows who you are even when you have no idea?

Stefan was in love with Elena. Stefan told me once that it was always going to be Elena. Stefan was always going to love Elena.

But, he kissed me back last night. Stefan had kissed me back last night. I remembered that much.

"Caroline?" I heard Stefan's voice coming from my living room and I immediately jumped back on to my bed, my eyes widening a little bit.

"Yeah?" I ran my fingers through my hair trying to make it look at least somewhat presentable.

Stefan walked in to my bedroom dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a gray long sleeved t-shirt, God. Why did he have to look like that? He looked like a Greek God without even trying to.

"Hey." That was all I could muster up, a simple hey. Fantastic. Hey, Stefan. Sorry I told you I was in love with you last night but I think I kind of might be. I might be in love with you, but you sort of love someone else so, there is always that?

"Hey," Stefan slid his hands in to his front pockets looking at me with those gorgeous green eyes; I couldn't think when he was looking at me like that. I couldn't think period at this point and time.

"So about last night. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. You were vulnerable and I took advantage of that and I am so sorry. I don't want to take advantage of you. You are my best friend, and you are lonely."

My heart sunk in my chest. Stefan had just basically told me how he felt without even having to say it straight out loud. Stefan's face was saying it all. Stefan was still in love with Elena. Stefan was always going to be in love with Elena and I was just some girl who could distract him from this. Stefan Salvatore would never love me.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

I sat at the kitchen table with Stefan now drinking a cup of coffee trying not to think about what Stefan had just said to me, but his words rang in my ears. I was vulnerable. The kiss should not have happened. Why did I even tell him the truth? Was it the truth? Did I love Stefan? Was I in love with Stefan Salvatore? I looked at Stefan as I took a sip of my coffee, trying to think of what I should say. I hadn't said a word since he told me that he felt like he took advantage of me. I had just walked away from him. I fixed myself a cup of coffee and just listened as he went on and on about how sorry he was. I nodded my head on occasion to show that I was listening but I really wasn't. I heard him say something about our friendship and how he didn't want it to change, but hadn't it already changed?

"Stefan, just shut up." I whispered the words hoping that the sound would stop ringing in my ears but it didn't really help anything.

Stefan looked up from his own cup of coffee frowning at me seeming to be a bit confused by my words.

"Caroline?"

"Stefan, shut up. I don't want to hear it anymore. I get it. You are sorry, you feel bad, I was vulnerable, you don't want to hurt our friendship…I hear what you are saying. You have been saying it for the past hour. But I don't want to hear it anymore." I said the words in my most assertive voice hoping that Stefan would understand me but when I looked up he seemed to be even more confused than he was before.

"Caroline, I didn't mean to make you sound like some innocent kid. I just-"

"But you did, Stefan. Is that what I am to you? Because you weren't acting that way when you stuck your tongue down my throat last night." I stood up and took my coffee cup over to the sink, pouring out the rest of the black coffee, my hands shaking slightly in anger.

Stefan blushed when he thought about the kiss; it had been a beautiful kiss after all. How could he not blush when thinking about it?

"Okay, it happened. It happened between us, and it was a beautiful kiss. It was beautiful but I…we…we can't."

"We can't or you won't because you still are in love with Elena." I turned to look at him hoping that I could read his facial expression.

"I love Elena, but I am not in love with Elena. Elena loves Damon." He said the words with such bitterness; he was still hurt by what Elena had done to him.

"Then why did you say that?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You are still getting over Tyler, and I do not want you to just…"

"You think I am trying to rebound with you!" My voice was raised, almost piercing but I didn't care. I didn't care at all, now I was just hurt. I was upset that Stefan was even inferring that I might be using him as some type of way to get over Tyler.

"Caroline, I just don't want…"

"Don't flatter yourself Stefan!"

Stefan stood up and walked over to me gently taking my hands in to his own looking me right in the eyes.

"I care about you. I have always cared about you and I don't want to put myself out there again just for you to still be in love with Tyler. I couldn't deal with that kind of pain again, Caroline. I am not strong enough. You think I am some kind of saint, but I feel everything just like you do. I feel something for you too, but what if this doesn't work? What if this ruins our friendship? You are my only friend. You are the only one who has always been there and I can't loose you."

"So don't."

Stefan smiled when he heard my words and he laughed softly shaking his head back and forth at me as if I had surprised him.

"You make it sound so simple." He said.

"That's because it is, it is that simple Stefan. Stefan, you make everything sound so complicated but it doesn't have to be. It doesn't have to be so black and white. There is some gray area, you are the one who taught me that." I replied.

Stefan nodded his head very slowly thinking for a moment before he leaned down and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"Sometimes it is black and white."

I nodded my head listening to his words carefully.

"Love is never black and white."

Stefan's eyebrows raised in surprise as if I had just said something that sparked his interest.

"Love, huh?"

"Yeah. Love. You know mushy, gushy, let's grow old together love."

Stefan laughed softly.

"What?"

"Well, I just wouldn't have phrased it like that." He shrugged his shoulders acting as if it was no big deal.

I blushed, my cheeks turning bright red before I shrugged my shoulders trying to act casual.

"Yeah. Love isn't black and white. The way I feel about you isn't black and white either. It's all gray. Because I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I feel guilty about it too, but then I don't. And I try to make sense of it but I can't. It's all so confusing."

"Sort of sounds like you are in love with me."

I pulled away from Stefan rolling my eyes at him flashing a mischievous smile at him.

"Well, I just wouldn't have phrased it like that."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four:

"Wait, you kissed Stefan? More than once?" Bonnie whispered the words quietly seeming to be in shock.

"Yes." I simply answered her question knowing that either way I was going to get some type of lecture about what I had done.

"Oh, great."

"Yeah, it was sort of great." I said with a small smile playing on my lips.

"Caroline!" Bonnie frowned, not seeming to like what I had said.

"What? It was great, okay? It was fantastic. It was one of the few things I have done that I can't seem to find something wrong with."

"Care, that's not good."

"Why? Why is it not good? Because I kissed Stefan? Or because Stefan kissed me back? Because he did. He kissed me back, Bonnie."

"Oh! Don't tell me stuff like that!"

"Why?" I asked.

"Caroline, you kissed our best friend's boyfriend. That's really not okay!" Bonnie had one eyebrow raised as if she was waiting for some type of reaction from me.

"I know that Bonnie."

I was a little bit annoyed by the way Bonnie was looking at me, I mean I obviously knew that what I had done was wrong on some level. Bonnie looking at me with those judgmental eyes did not make me feel any better.

"Look, I know that I totally betrayed girl-code or whatever. But she slept with Damon the day she broke up with Stefan. Does anyone else remember that?" I crossed my arms over my chest partially to show Bonnie that I was serious, but also to protect myself from whatever Bonnie had to say back.

"Yes, Caroline. I remember that. But that doesn't make this all okay. It doesn't make any of this okay. What Elena did was bad but…"

"Okay, so why is it so bad that I kissed Stefan?" I asked, pursing my lips slightly.

Bonnie sat there for a moment seeming to be deep in thought.

"You kissing Stefan is one thing. That I can handle. But, you being in love with Stefan is something else."

I frowned, trying to think of something that I could say to defend myself but I couldn't think of anything. I was in love with Stefan Salvatore. I was in love with my best friend, and maybe that should bother me. It should bother me, right? But it didn't. I was in love with Stefan Salvatore, and it didn't bother me one bit.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

Stefan was sitting on my front porch when I got home from my lunch date with Bonnie. He was dressed in a black button down and a pair of blue jeans, his green eyes shining underneath the moonlight making him look even more gorgeous than he already was.

"Hi." A simple hi was all I could muster after the type of day I had. I had realized not only was I in love with my best friend.

"Hi." He stood up pushing his hands in to his front pockets, a small smile playing on his pale pink lips. Stefan was so close to me that I could smell his cologne, it was a musky smell, and I guessed that he probably wore older cologne. Maybe something that only people in there fifties wore, but he smelled so nice. Something about the smell was very Stefan-like.

"Hi." I said again.

Stefan smiled at the sight of me feeling so incredibly awkward. He wasn't used to seeing me this way. Frankly, I wasn't used to seeing me this way either.

"You said that already."

"Yeah, I guess I did."

I felt like my heart might explode because of all the emotion I was feeling. I was in love with my best friend. I was in love with my best friend who happened to be my other best friend's ex-boyfriend. Fantastic, I thought. Only I could get myself in to something like this. This is what I always seemed to do; I always seemed to make a mess of things. But, Stefan was not a mess. He was Stefan. Saint Stefan, the man who had saved my vampire life. Stefan had been my savior. What a weird thing.

"What are you thinking about?" Stefan asked as he looked down at me seeming to be a little bit worried.

"I was just thinking…you realize you are sort of my savior, don't you?" I looked up at him noticing the strange smile that came on to Stefan's face.

"I didn't save you, Caroline. You saved you." He said the words in a very simple matter, one hand coming out of his pocket so he could lean down to gently take my face in his hand.

"No, you did save me. You saved me from Damon; you saved me from Elena when she tried to kill me. You are always saving me, Stefan."

"You saved me too, Caroline. You have never let me loose control, even though there were a lot of times I thought I was going to."

I smiled at that comment before I shrugged my shoulders.

"I'm your sober sponsor. It's what I am paid to do."

"I pay you?" Stefan asked, watching me as I started to unlock my front door.

"You pay me with your friendship. Your friendship is payment enough." I said before I opened the door, hoping he would take the invitation.

Stefan looked at my open front door for a moment before he flashed a mischievous smile.

"I don't usually go inside on the first date, but if you insist." Stefan chuckled softly when I rolled my eyes at him.

I walked inside of my house shutting the door behind us both and after I saw Stefan sitting down on my bed, I pulled out the movie Man in the Moon, it had been one of my favorite movies growing up and I had a feeling Stefan would enjoy it.

"Sappy girl movies." He observed.

"Do you have a problem with that?" I asked, slightly worried that he may not want to watch this type of movie with me.

" No. No. It's a good movie, plus…I have a feeling I may get to second base if I try my best."

We spent the rest of that night watching movies, snuggled up under my covers, laughing, and I even at one point cried because I didn't like it when movie characters died, especially young ones. And instead of laughing at me or calling me a baby, Stefan wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead telling me that next time we watched movies we would have to watch something a bit more cheerful. I laughed at his words but I agreed with him. Watching sad movies probably wasn't the best idea for a first date, but in a way it had been the perfect experience. Stefan had laughed so much with me tonight, and I wasn't used to seeing that side of Stefan.

I mean, I saw it on occasion, but Stefan wasn't one of those naturally happy people. So, seeing him smile and laugh had been sort of nice. Stefan did have a pretty smile, I noticed that early on in our night of fun. It was a gorgeous smile, the kind of smile that made you smile too.

I laid there my head snuggled in to his chest. My eyes were closed, just simply breathing in Stefan's scent, thinking about how perfect this night had really been. I was so comfortable right there. Stefan had his arms wrapped securely around me, his head lying back against the pillows watching as the movie we were watching came to an end. Stefan slowly rose up acting as if he might leave, but I looked up at him my bottom lip sticking out slightly as I frowned.

"Are you going to leave?" I asked quietly raising one eyebrow at him.

Stefan looked down at me, seeming a bit surprised because he thought I must be asleep.

"Well, I probably should."

I frowned reaching up to try and get my hair to look a little less tragic, but I doubt that it helped anything.

"Do you have to go?" I asked, my voice a small whisper.

"Well, your mother might come home."

I rolled my eyes at him before I sighed softly, taking Stefan's hand in to my own.

"Can you stay?"

"Caroline…"

"Stefan, I meant stay here and _sleep_. Gosh, I am not trying to get your pants off," I frowned before I took a second to think, "Though, I bet it is uncomfortable to sleep in jeans."

Stefan laughed at that, seeming to think something I said was funny.

"What?" I demanded, a little bit annoyed by the fact that Stefan was laughing at me.

"Nothing, I just think it's sort of funny how you think out loud. You don't really have much of a filter."

"No," I frowned. "I guess I don't."

Stefan leaned down and kissed my forehead lightly, holding me there for a moment, his lips resting on my forehead.

"I like the way you say whatever you are thinking. I don't have to sit around and guess. You tend to tell me. Its nice, sort of refreshing." He whispered.

I smiled, before I pulled back so that I could look in to Stefan's dark green eyes.

"Will you stay tonight? With your pants on?" I teased.

"Well, when you put it like that…how can a guy resist?"


End file.
